| RATINGS
(out
of 5)
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| no stars |
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When
we read the article
in today’s NT Daily we had
to go check this place out, even though Kevin warned us, “My
wife and I got into a fight about this restaurant. She couldn’t
believe that I was going to take her there.” I wasn’t
as skeptical and I tried to keep an open mind, especially because
the Daily’s alleged “Iron Tongue” was at
our heels inanely introducing themselves as competition to
Eatin’ Out with SL4. Eatin’ Out is superior to
The Tongue in many ways including our superior
taste buds,
years of experience, and faithful enthusiasts.
This particular
SL4 lunch was somewhat promising, despite the gloomy weather
we’ve been having lately. I know you’re
expecting a picture of this because you won’t believe
me, but on the way to El Zarape we saw many blindfolded youth
clambering over a bronze wolf and her pup outside in the rain.
It was only upon arrival to El Sarape and reviewing their outer
signage that we began to suspect something was up: 2 for 1
Margaritas Every Day….15% off for college students! Henry
was on to them, “Denton is a competitive Mexican food
market. You've got to be real good if you want to stick around.
And when
I say real good I mean awesome.”
There is a party
of colors going on inside—everything
from the chairs you sit on to the ceiling fans that were covered
in a fiesta mood. I don’t think that there was a square
inch of boring in that place. We were seated promptly in the
back of the restaurant next to a mysterious door that may have
led to the outside. I say “may have” because the
fact that my feet are still numb from sitting next to the drafty
crack in the wall, and that’s not enough evidence to
make a certain judgment call. What is certain though was the
origination of the salsa. All four of us were having a great
time eating the free chips and salsa until Henry said, “Do
y’all taste the soap in there? It’s industrial
strength. Russ, I think if you stir it enough it will get sudsy.” It
was all downhill from there.
Our menus and waters
arrived quickly, which illustrates a bit of the impeccable
service available at El Serapa. I hesitated
at first, but then chose the beef taco, which is outside of
my Eatin’ Out comfort zone for sure. Russ ordered a chimichanga,
Kevin got taquitos, and Henry went for the
 I
have a bb gun.
Kevin
bragging about his arsenal
|
Speedy
Gonzalez.
And speedy it was. Russ saw this as an ominous sign, “I
have a feeling that the speed at which this arrived will be
the speed at which it leaves.” I took one bite of my
beef taco and recognized that
my delicate incisors couldn’t
handle the level of stale-ness in the taco shell. I wasn’t
alone in this either, I noticed Henry struggling to eat his
taco as well. Russ was there to interpret this sign as well, “The
service is amazingly crisp, but they left none for the tortilla
shells.”
The conversation
distracted me from my bland beef taco, as Kevin told a tale
of waking up to a stray cat in his bedroom
that his wife had let in the door by accident. Kevin didn’t
seem phased by this incident, “I have no love for stray
cats. It’s a good thing I have a bb gun.” No, he
didn’t shoot the cat, but I’m sure there are others
who would have hoped he had done so. In a recent survey our
staff voted that they are “dog people.” We continued
talking about childh 
ood pets, until it was suggested that there
may be a spy in our midst. There isn’t enough evidence
to make a certain judgment on that either, so we’ll have
to set up a watch on the Temple of Power. The conversation
briefly turned to the highly suggestive table and wall décor.
I’m not going to tell you what’s on the wall in
La Zarapo, you’ll have to go see it yourself, although
I wouldn’t recommend bringing your child under the age
of 24.
I asked the guys for their comments on the El Sera Sera experience,
and Kevin didn’t answer me for a long time. Finally
he said, “I’m sorry. This isn’t worth the
time to think of a comment. There are better things to think
about.” No doubt he was thinking about his next Dessert
and Discourse. Henry gave them 6 months to make it or get
the heck outta Denton, “This is generic Mexican food
that is crafted for the masses.” I have to agree. If
you want hot hot hot Mexican food there are plenty of other
places to go in this great town. 
